Make a bigger story

This thread is nearly identical to the other story, but with varied rules. Rather than each person writing a single word (which produces a barely legible sentence), each person will write a paragraph. This will, in theory, produce a far more interesting and legible story. The paragraph you write need not be ten sentences long; two or three sentences will suffice.

In short, the rules are:
1. Post at least two sentences to add to the story.
2. Your sentences must be a complete thought; they cannot be random incoherent babble about puppies if the story is about Romans.
3. Your post must either directly or indirectly tie in with the preceding post. It cannot completely change the subject and/or story. It must follow.

The first person to reply gets to do the first post, arguably the most important paragraph of the story. This story may be of any topic (as long as it does not conflict the rules), any setting, or any characters. Use your imagination.

Once upon a midnight dreary, there was an old farmer who lived by a rocky cliff on a small island. He didn't have much money, and wished desperately for a companion. One day, he saw an elephant wandering aimlessly along the sandy beach at the bottom of the cliff. The farmer, being a lonely old soul, scrambled down the cliffside to greet the elephant.

"Hello Mr. Elephant!" he called out congenially, "what brings you to this side of the island?"
The elephant gave him a blank stare and said, "I seem to have lost my head. Have you seen it about?"
The farmer inspected the elephant's severed neck stump. "No, I'm afraid I have not seen it. If you'd like to go to my sand farm up on the cliff for a nice warm cuppa, I shall find you find your severed head."

The two of them plodded back up the hill, and upon reaching the table, the elephant was struck by the realization that he does not, as he previously did, have a mouth. He immediately informs the farmer, who, upon hearing this information, replies that he will find the elephant's severed head before they have a cuppa; the cuppa will be enjoyed by the two after the elephant again has a mouth. As such, the two new companions, as unlikely as they may seem - for an elephant and a farmer to join side by side in that day and age was unheard of - set out on their long, dangerous, and most certainly interesting, adventure.

The elephant stood awhile in uffish thought and contemplated how taboo it was for a farmer to be seen with a decapitated elephant when it was totally acceptable for carpenters to be seen with walruses. Could it be discrimination, he wondered?

"Where shall we start our search?" said the farmer.
"I suggest we hire seven maids with seven mops to clear up all this blasted sand! Otherwise we shall never find my head," said the elephant
"Oh that is most excellent, dear Elephant, but I'm afraid we are quite short on maids to hire, for you and I are the only inhabitants of this lonely isle."
"Well can't we hire maids of the mer variety?"
"I'm afraid they don't do very well on dry land," the farmer said somberly, shaking his head.
The elephant nodded. "I see."

At that particular moment, in a seemingly unrelated event, a large squirrel stumbled upon a long, grey, undulating snake-like object on his front lawn. This quite perplexed him, as he had never witnessed such an object before; it was nearly twice as tall as him, and longer than his house was wide. However, squirrels being very curious animals - though not as cautious as they should be -, he decided to investigate. He called out to his wife, who happened to be a chipmunk, who then joined her husband, the squirrel, out front of their dwelling. As chipmunks tended to be far more cautious than curious, she informed him that the two should return to their dwelling and see if it leaves after a while; the squirrel scoffed at her rebuke, and replied that it poses no threat to him; it is probably dead, as it is unmoving. The chipmunk would not be persuaded, and again told her husband, the squirrel, that this may be dangerous and could possibly be lying in wait for either of them to get closer. The squirrel again scoffed at her and, before she could again remind him of the dangers of giant unknown objects, scurried over to the giant grey tube.

Interspecies relations were frowned upon in a more primitive time, but this was the 21st century!

"Leave it alone, Foamy," implored Chipmunk.
"Oh, but I just want to see what it is! And maybe taste it a little."
"You fool, you'll get yourself killed. Think of our children!"
"Bah, it's not that bad. You greatly exaggerate the risks of such an endeavor, darling wife. Now allow me to inspect this... this... thing?"
"Fine, have it your way! Leave me a widow and our children fatherless if you've the heart to! You squirrels are all alike." Chipmunk stormed off in a huff.

Squirrel shrugged and moved less-than-cautiously towards the great grey tube. He was surprised to find hairs growing from its end, which had two small caverns. He stuck his hand in one and found the inside to be slimy and cold. He followed the length of the tube which widened towards the other end.

"OH HOLY LORD WHAT IS THAT?!" squirrel screamed and darted behind the nearest tree. He had come across weird things in his life, but this...

Now we need not forget our elephant and farmer friends. Whilst the squirrel and chipmunk were arguing, they were facing their own delima. The farmer had found a single shovel, and had proceeded to attempt to clear the beach of the sand. After a while though, he grew tired, as all humans do. He implored that the elephant take a turn in shoveling. The elephant, being a decent creature, accepted. But while having no head, one finds it difficult to shovel sand effectively. The elephant ended up undoing the hours of labor that the farmer had expounded. This cause for some bitter tension between the companions.

The farmer wrung his hands in frustration and yelled at the elephant.

“Three hours of work! You trampled all over three hours of work, you… you buffoon!”

Now because the elephant had been previously employed (or rather enslaved) as a professional laughingstock by noblemen on the mainland before he escaped for the freedom of this tiny isle, he took great offense to being called a buffoon. In his rage, he stomped the ground long and hard, causing the earth to quake and tremble.

Across the island, Chipmunk felt the tremors in the ground and felt sure Squirrel had angered something somehow by poking that great grey thing on the ground. She decided to go out to either chastise or rescue him… or both, whichever action this particular situation warranted.

Squirrel was also aware of the shaking of the earth, and that just added to the fear he was experiencing after seeing his first ever liberated elephant capita.

The elephant, in his elephantine rage, unknowing of his actions, stomped across the island, knocking down trees and causing many small rockslides. The farmer was frightened by the rampaging elephant, for he was a very frightful man, and elephants are very frightening creatures; furthermore, he also began running around the island, trying to escape the elephant's rampaging stomps. He continued running until he stumbled upon what appeared to be a rather large squirrel: he has been over the island thousands of times but has never come across a squirrel before. He was pondering over the peculiar squirrel when the squirrel let out a blood curdling scream. The farmer was most certainly taken aback by this, and immediately responded in kind.

The two loud shrieks resonated simultaneously across the island, enraging the elephant, causing him to stampede and trumpet and behave like a savage beast. His trumpets greatly alarmed Chipmunk who peeked her little head out of the entrance to her den. There she saw Squirrel and a large biped screaming at each other. In an effort to protect her mate, Chipmunk bravely jumped at the biped, aiming for its hideous face, shrieking.

The farmer was interrupted mid-scream by something small and furry flying at his face. It wasn't until tiny claws had made him bleed in several places that he shook the creature off. The small chipmunk landed beside the still screaming squirrel, who then promptly stopped screaming. The two small rodents started making all sorts of squeaking noises at each other, and if the farmer didn't know better, he'd say they were having an argument.
Actually, the farmer didn't know better; just earlier that day he was conversing with a decapitated elephant. So he clearly understood the squirrel and the chipmunk, though they did have stereotypically high squeaky voices. This is what he heard;
"What did I tell you? WHAT did I tell you!?" yelled Chipmunk. "You could have been killed! Not only did you cause the entire earth to bounce, but it brought a screaming madman! Why cant you eve-"

"Oh, just shut up, woman!" said Squirrel irritatedly, "It came running at me out of nowhere."
The farmer got down on his hands and knees to stare at the little critters conversing heatedly with each other.
"You- you can talk?"

"Oh my god, Foamy, stand back!" cried Chipmunk, "It speaks!"
"Why, in all my years!" Squirrel's inquisitiveness got the better of him and he took a step closer to the biped with the hideously deformed noggin.
"Foamy, what are you doing?!"
"Woman, for once in your life will you please just shut your face?"
Squirrel turned to the biped and extended his little paw.
"We come in peace, man," he said.

The farmer stared at the peculiar little creature and shuffled uncomfortably. This was the second instance in a day where animals spoke to him. He rather thought he was losing his mind.

"I say," the farmer remarked, "the animal inhabitants of this island have an astoundingly good command of the English language!"
"What's English, then, eh?" asked Squirrel.
"It's- it's what you're saying right now," said the farmer, "That language you're speaking."
"I don't know what you're talking about, man. You must be mad."
The farmer pondered on this last statement for a while and then nodded. "Yes, yes, I must be."

Upon the Farmer's sudden revelation, the whole scene was interrupted by afore-mentioned rampaging elephant. It is said that elephants never forget, but that is for usual elephants. This one, of course, had no head to speak of, and therefore had no idea why exactly he was charging around, terrorizing the country side. As the furious pachyderm came running up the hill, the two rodents and the farmer quickly ended their conversation and ran the opposite way as fast as limbs could carry them. Unfortunately for our farmer friend, as he was blindly running across the grass, he tripped and fell over the most peculiarly placed object...